Saturday, February 6, 2010

it's all about faith.





i wouldn't stop saying sorry forever. :)
and i would be forever THANKFUL, because no matter how hard it had been for me, and will be for me, atleast,
i was given a LIFE. ^^

Thankyou, Dear God. for giving me millions of chances.
I love You too..:-*

in time...



i'll have my own fairytale bed room,
with all these pink curtains, pink bed covers and pillows. pink wall papers. teddy bears, stufftoys, butterfly pillows, butterfly hang things, plain white lain clothe curtains, ah! just how a fairy world room look likes. :)

i promise i would have it one day in my own house which goes like a paradise with it's own garden where everybody could play around, jiggle around. with all these beaujavascript:void(0)tiful flowers and green Bermuda grasses.
a refreshing air, quiet place. nice view. and a happy famiLy.

in time, i'll have every kind of LOVE i never had.
--in my own fairy tale. :)







Thursday, February 4, 2010

new beginning

we’LL i feel so blessed today, and i feel that everyday of my life. :)

it’s just that, there are times when i do not recognize and address all the many blessings i receive from Him. (and even to the point of blaming only because i can’t get what i am wishing for.) that, is one of the most common wrong doing of man.

oh, anyway, a while ago, while i was taking a nap, i had this nightmare, and i felt like it was “bangungot”, like i’m going to die already because i could not move my whole body, the air that i could breath is starting to depreciate second by second. i’m struggling to open my eyes, doing my best to move my body, but i couldn’t. i felt so scared because i know i’m awake but i couldn’t wake up. (It’s not just a dream, it’s real.)

time by time, i’m getting a lot more scared, fighting for my life, and atlast! i was able to open my eyes, yet i could not move my body. ‘tiL the moment that i’m only thinking of this thing:

“i don’t want to die yet, because i can’t”

then, after that, i was able to move my body. *deep breath* (it feels like i’ve been running for 5 hours without any break at all, so tiring)

i was facing west that time, so i decided to flip my body to face eastward and then i closed my eyes again, and again, i started to feel like drowning in nightmares, so i abruptly opened my eyes and i stood up from bed. i turned on the lights, and for a moment, i was so silent, so shocked, and that was the time i felt i was so blessed. making me yell this words..

“Thank You Lord for another Life”



everytime i have a problem, i always think of dying, because i feel like i couln’t bear the pain. but, it’s not true. Definitely it’s not true.

Thank God. Really, I thank You. and i’m so sorry for always loosing up my hands from Yours. I’m sorry. I’m Sorry. :((



this was not the first time that i had this “bangungot-experience”, but this was the time that i felt so afraid. Pray for me guys, that i wouldn’t encounter such scenario again.

Godbless.. =))

-kaye-

written: February 5, 2010

happened at around 6:44 p.m. February 4, 2010