me.

i miss myself, REALLY.
oh well. everything have changed, and i guess life is like that.
as everybody says, NOTHING IS PERMANENT because CHANGE IS INEVITABLE.
But i guess, i could still find a better something. Life goes on, and all this hindrances would definitely end. what i want for now is peace of mind. i guess my head's piled up of too many dilemmas and plights. i know i could surpass it. in time i'll be alright. :)
think positive. hold on. LIFE is a long journey.. and if today, i break my knees, tomorrow.. i'm sure, it can walk again.

^^.

Life is Love. and Love to live.. :)

i can't stay a little more longer.

i want to go to a place where i can rest my mind, EVEN JUST FOR A DAY. :(
i can't stay one more day in this damn hell.
why can't just people understand that i can't live ALONE with this kind of situation. what's worst is that nobody could even notice that my heart's already burning with sadness and pain. :(
the longer the day..the more dead i am.

so please..
i.want.a.REST. :(

i've been waiting.

*i'm currently listening to tony gonzaga's song.*

oh well, that was something that seized my heart. seem's like i want to fall in love again. :/
hmmm..it's been so long but i'm still shedding the same tears for the guy i love. mahal ko nga siya talaga. i just realized, kahit siguro gano pa kagago ang isang tao, kahit gano pa siya kawalanghiya o kahit gano pa kawalang pusio para saktan ka ng higit pa sa dalawamput tatlong milyong beses, he would always be worth the wait. kasi yung puso mo, nakalaan na doon sa taong yon.. maliban nalang siguro kung hindi talaga siya ang para sa'yo. pero kung yang puso mo desidido talagang siya ang tinitibok, hangga't nasa kasalukuyan ka, siya at siya parin ang laman ng hinaharap mo. :/

haaay. why em i so sentimental and emotionaL? eversince i've been like this and this would really represent my real personality. i easily feel the pain, the happiness.. about love. about wisdom. and whatever it is.. talagang madali akong ma-touch.

how i wish i would find the right guy, whoever he is. how i wish i could go on with the struggle of LOVE. i've seen enough from my family, and i hope i won't have the same mistake again. a mistake is intended to make you LEARN.. :))

Bait talaga ni Bro no?? Makakayanan ko lahat ng endeavors. ako pa! :)


mmm.. so ngayon, eto ang nakakatuwa.. i'm still soo sooooo inlove with my ex-boyfriend, and for now, i'm still blinded by the idea of 'worth the wait'

hayyy.. bahala na. atleast, wala ako naaargabyado.. :))

-kaye-

i was built from you.

"i am this proud."

a while ago. i stayed idle in my room and left with nothing to do. i've seen the newspaper that was wayback familiar to me. i have seen the frontpage and the name of the paper was too close to me. i knew it was something connected to my heart. -the EXCELSIOR.

i've read the articles, the columns, the poems and everything about it. as i go along the pages, i realized how much lucky and blessed i am that i had been a part of the school, my prestigious school.

i'm so proud of the achievements and remarks granted to the institution that i had graduated from. while reading the alphanumeric writings on the paper, i was trying real hard to remember the times that i've been there. the times that i, myself, could be ale to feel the sudden gladness of having my school put on the limelight of success. how i wish it's still my time living and spending my school days there.

it's been a long time and now i am turning sophomore on my college life yet my heart still beats for the young proud life i've been spending before. but you know what? honestly, everytime i think about the school where i came from, i am this confident that i will be able to fight against the hindrances of this life that i am having now. i am this proud that REGIONAL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL had given me confidence with my studies. and at the same time, had thought me have humility and thought me how to keep my feet on the ground. dahil sa'yo regscihy, natuto akong lumaban. natuto akong maging matatag at harapin ng matino ang aking kinabukasan. natuto akong pahalagahan ang aking pagaaral, at lalong lalo na, natuto akong ingatan ang bawat taong mapapalapit sa aking puso. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~

speaking of the people close to my heart, the school i am talking about is also the same school who gave me the best of friends that one could ever have. friends who will stay beside you whatever happens. friends who will comfort you especially when your heart breaks. when a stupid guy/girl hurts it and crumple into pieces. :) when family matters. when there's something wrong with your studies. when there's something wrong ABOUT YOU. they are the people that will never be seperated by time and distance. it's a proof that until now, we still cling to each other, we go out oftenly if we had the chance too. and we still run to each and everyone of us whenever we needed someone to talk to. i admit that as this life goes by, our friendship shall be tested by difficulties and challenges, but i am assured that in the end we will still end up batchmates, classmates, friends and confidant. (:

ONSEkong mahal, maraming salamat sa pagdating sa akuuung buhaiii.. ONSE will always be ONSE. Once an onse, always an ONSE. :))

--

may 22, '09

amidst all pain.

"secretly loving you, baby."

i am not this freak to lie on my own feelings. i know what i feel and i know i am still hurting. i know how it hurts, and perfectly i know how much this pain penetrates deep down the innermost vein of my own damn heart. if i am not mistaken, i’m still inlove with the frog prince who left me hanging just to be with another girl.

it was the fifth month since we finally broke up, yet my heart seems so completely crumpled until now. i can’t just face the real fact that he has been gone for that long without even hesitating to miss the girl he usually kept his promises with. i just can’t accept the fact that even if i try real hard to keep myself intact with him, he could never notice. not again.

he’s a complete womanizer. i knew that in the first place. but the stupid thing is that i fell for him no matter how he tried to keep those lies from me…that he loves me.

it’s been three years that i’m loving this person despite the hurts that he brings to my heart, to my life. he was the one who changed everything. the simplicity of my life. from then on my world began being complicated, because of my stupid love.

now, why do i still have to think about that guy everyday of the week? no skips. none at all. monday to fridays. every night before i completely close my eyes. every morning before i get up from bed.

HE DOESN’T CARE. even if he does, IT WON’T MATTER.

“baby, i’m missing you. how would this be now? another day passed without you. tomorrow’s gonna be our day, i mean, tomorrow’s supposed to be our day. :((”

–goodnight. goodmorning.–

may 22, ‘09. 12:34 1.m.